I'm sad that you feel open discussion of personal feelings related to the participants' individual conditions to be bigoted. Each one of us does have different needs. To deny that would be a lie—and deceit in discussion meant to be constructive would render it useless.
My need, for example is to be assimilated into society as just another woman. That feeling has been present since I was less than three years old, grown stronger by the day, and on hormones it has become absolutely overpowering. From what I wrote earlier in this thread you may see that I cannot regard myself as a woman until my body is brought into as close alignment with those of my sisters as possible. When asked by Linde how someone in her position would fit into the world I live in—well, don't you think answering a question like that with untruths would be disrespectful?
What I told her obviously doesn't mean that I don't also respect the choices of cross dressers, transvestites, Albanian sworn virgins, the okama and any other subgroup of the transgender "umbrella" you may imagine. They simply are different than I, and follow a different path.
However, does that mean I should speak untruths about how the women in my world would feel about anyone with a penis enter their bathing spaces? Don't you think that falsely stating they'd be welcomed as women despite the anatomical differences would potentially cause more harm than good?
I feel open and honest discussion to be important for two reasons. More, perhaps—but these are personal.
One is that without it individual thought is stifled. If one only ever ingests what is politically correct it is easy to end up like my friend who never looks at what my needs are, and only regurgitates whatever he has been spoon-fed throughout his life. When I'm the one on whom he regurgitates it, it hurts.
The other is much more crucial. The very same spoon-fed "we're all the same/valid/word de jour" dialog ended up smothering my hope to become what I need to be for years—because nothing I ever saw gave me even the slightest confidence that it was possible. It was often even disparaged.
You see, humans are animals biologically programmed to want to reproduce, just like all other sexually dimorphic animals are. As such while people may become more polite and accepting, that will never mean someone deemed not female will be seen by other humans as female. For that to happen I must change myself—not society. I now know that to be a much more realistic and practical goal.
And had anyone been open about this being feasible when I most desperately needed the information, I'd probably now be living happily as a woman, very probably married, and pursuing my dreams, instead of only now trying to reach what may yet be possible. The cost would have been much lower, and the returns certain. As things stood, diversity was what everyone tried to feed me, although all I needed and longed for was normalcy.
Now, let me state once again that I do accept diversity. Just not in myself. And that acceptance doesn't mean I feel diversity equates to homogeneosity. Actually what brought me here was the fact that my attempt elsewhere to emphasize the importance of recognizing and accepting such differences only resulted in grief, consternation and censure.
We are all different. I believe in acceptance and recognition of those differences. And in honesty, and in freedom of thought and expression...