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Author Topic: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.  (Read 74 times)

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Online OzGirl

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Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« on: March 26, 2020, 06:34:18 PM »
I have a few dysphoria triggers, lack of development, body hair, genitals, and general appearances, and most of these seem to be under attack during this crisis period. This week my hair salon cancelled my appointment, and my electrologist is closed for the foreseeable future. Elective surgery is suspended, so my wait for GRS is getting longer and longer. It hasn't helped that my HRT program failed and my development stopped, but I think I am now on top of that. All of these things have added to my dysphoria, to the point my cognitive function is impaired and I have a constant headache.

We know that dysphoria is the brain's way of getting us to comply with its gender identity, and it varies greatly for most trans people from hardly noticeable to life threatening. Doing something towards the brains identity goal usually lessens dysphoria, ie, dressing as our preferred gender, altering our bodies, taking HRT, and even behaving like our preferred gender can reduce dysphoria. Lately, this is getting harder due to lockdown and isolation.

I intend getting all my makeup out and spend time playing with it, decorating my bedroom, doing online voice training, and online trans meetings, but I guess there are plenty of ways we can fight dysphoria while shut up at home.

How do you cope??

Allie
Knew I was a girl in 1958, told my mother. Dressed regularly at home from 2000, started HRT March 2019, FHR Oct 19 Full time Jan 2020, new BC Feb, new p’port March 2020, GRS scheduled for some time in 2021

Offline Linde

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2020, 12:32:34 AM »
I just found a new (actually well known) way to protect myself against Corona Virus fall out!

If life deals you lemons, make the best out of them, make lemonade, or put them into your bra to make it look like you have big boobs!

Email contact through linde@transrefuge.org

Offline Maddie

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #2 on: Yesterday at 03:37:54 PM »
Are you ok Linde?
You appear strained

Offline Jessica

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 04:31:45 PM »
Are you ok Linde?
You appear strained

Ha!  That made me chuckle  ;D

Offline Katie

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #4 on: Yesterday at 05:47:13 PM »
It's been a tough week for me in terms of gender dysphoria for me. Having to see myself on web meetings for 12 or more hours per day all week presenting as male has really been wearing on me. I'm thankful for a weekend break before I have to dive back into it again.
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 07:10:49 PM by Katie »
"Some want to live within the sound
Of church or chapel bell;
I want to run a rescue shop,
Within a yard of hell".
C.T. Studd

"Redeeming love has been my theme,
and shall be till I die".
William Cowper

Online OzGirl

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #5 on: Yesterday at 06:54:52 PM »
It's been a tough week for me in terms of gender dysphoria for me. Having to see myself on web meetings for 12 or more hours per day all week presenting as male has really been wearing on me. I'm thankful for a weekend break before I have to dive back into it again.

Katie, dysphoria can be balanced by giving yourself some girl time between your meetings. If you don't, it can build up and really badly affect you. I remember working all week as a diesel mechanic and feeling the dysphoria build, and in a few hours of being me on the weekend I could feel the dysphoria go away. I know it's hard coming home to a house full of kids, but it is important to release that dysphoria pressure from time to time.

Hugs,

 Allie
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 07:11:24 PM by Katie »
Knew I was a girl in 1958, told my mother. Dressed regularly at home from 2000, started HRT March 2019, FHR Oct 19 Full time Jan 2020, new BC Feb, new p’port March 2020, GRS scheduled for some time in 2021

Offline Linde

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #6 on: Yesterday at 07:01:58 PM »
Are you ok Linde?
You appear strained
I feel a little pressured by he load of the world on my head, but as long as the flower between my boobs still looks full of life, I guess I should feel OK, too!

Hugs
Linde
If life deals you lemons, make the best out of them, make lemonade, or put them into your bra to make it look like you have big boobs!

Email contact through linde@transrefuge.org

Offline Lexxi

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #7 on: Yesterday at 07:02:58 PM »
It's been a tough week for me in terms of gender dysphoria for me. Having to see myself on web meetings for 12 or more hours per day all week presenting as male has really been wearing on me. I'm thankful for a weekend break before I have to dive back into it again.

So sorry to hear that Katie. As you know my daughter has come back to live with me, at least part time, and I had to put up all the old pictures of us together that I'd taken down. Looking at them is a major cause of my dysphoria. I finally had a talk with her last night and explained how they make me feel...and she totally understood. At least as far as someone who has never been affected by gender dysphoria can understand it. But it's all working out. She let me take down the ones that were affecting me so badly and she's going to replace them with ones of just her. I'm so glad that I can talk to her about this stuff.
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 07:20:52 PM by Katie »
Realized that I'm trans 5/20/19   Got letter for HRT 6/10/19  Came out to my mom 6/18/19
Started HRT 7/12/19

Offline Linde

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #8 on: Yesterday at 07:05:54 PM »
So sorry to hear that Katie. As you know my daughter has come back to live with me, at least part time, and I had to put up all the old pictures of us together that I'd taken down. Looking at them is a major cause of my dysphoria. I finally had a talk with her last night and explained how they make me feel...and she totally understood. At least as far as someone who has never been affected by gender dysphoria can understand it. But it's all working out. She let me take down the ones that were affecting me so badly and she's going to replace them with ones of just her. I'm so glad that I can talk to her about this stuff.

Dear Lexxi, you are a lucky parent to have such an understanding and supporting child!

Hugs for you and your daughter
Linde
If life deals you lemons, make the best out of them, make lemonade, or put them into your bra to make it look like you have big boobs!

Email contact through linde@transrefuge.org

Offline Lexxi

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #9 on: Yesterday at 07:13:03 PM »
Dear Lexxi, you are a lucky parent to have such an understanding and supporting child!

Hugs for you and your daughter
Linde

Thank you Linde...she's the absolute best daughter in the whole wide world. We've had a blast this week. It's soooo good getting reconnected with her again!!
Realized that I'm trans 5/20/19   Got letter for HRT 6/10/19  Came out to my mom 6/18/19
Started HRT 7/12/19

Online OzGirl

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #10 on: Yesterday at 09:00:44 PM »
Thank you Linde...she's the absolute best daughter in the whole wide world. We've had a blast this week. It's soooo good getting reconnected with her again!!

Lexxi, it is such a good time to have someone like her in your life! She will take away most go these crisis blues. I just finished a face time call with my daughter and grandkids, that's as close as I can get to them for a while...

Hugs,

Allie
Knew I was a girl in 1958, told my mother. Dressed regularly at home from 2000, started HRT March 2019, FHR Oct 19 Full time Jan 2020, new BC Feb, new p’port March 2020, GRS scheduled for some time in 2021

Offline Lexxi

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #11 on: Today at 03:04:44 AM »
Lexxi, it is such a good time to have someone like her in your life! She will take away most go these crisis blues. I just finished a face time call with my daughter and grandkids, that's as close as I can get to them for a while...

Hugs,

Allie

Allie, I'm so glad you got to Face Time with your daughter and the grandkids. Hearing that reminds me of a conversation my daughter and I had today. She was Face Timing with her boyfriend today and was really happy to hear from him. She was a little sad though that she won't be able to be near him until this stupid pandemic is over.

Even though his parents let him come out here and spend the whole day with us yesterday, they're going into more of a quarantine mode, and don't want him going anywhere until it's safe again. I was trying to cheer her up and what do all teenagers need to hear that will put them in a happy mood??? Well they just need to hear stories from their parents childhood...Lol!!!!

So I told her about what it was like when I was a teenager with a girlfriend. I told her I wasn't allowed to spend all day on the phone with my gf. We normally only got to talk for maybe an hour a day if we were really lucky. Plus we had to carrying out our conversations on a phone that's connected to a wall in the central part of the house where anyone within 20 feet of us could hear what we were saying. Of course I made the story as humorous as possible and I'm sure she appreciated that.

By the time I was done telling my story she was feeling very lucky that at least she could actually see her boyfriend while she was talking to him. She's really a good kid though and rarely ever complains about stuff. She really does know that she's living in a magical time...but she sure does wish she could give her honey a hug.

We haven't really had any crisis blues going on here. We stay really busy. A couple of days ago we discovered a show on Netflix and have watched two full seasons of it. It's a remake of an old show from the 70s called One Day at a Time. They've made it all modern with modern family problems and it's fantastic. I've been very surprised at how emotional it makes me sometimes. One of the characters is gay and when she came out I could barely keep my tears contained.

The writing in the show is kind of predictable though. In fact I keep telling my daughter what I thinks gonna happen next and I've been right every time. My daughter swears that I must have watched it before. But I haven't. When you watch a show on Netflix it puts a red line down at the bottom if you look in the More Episodes section and I showed her that there weren't any red lines.

We were talking about it today and I got to laughing extremely hard while professing my innocence, which made her even more positive that I was lying. She said if you're not lying, then why are you laughing so hard?? I told her because I KNOW I sound guilty as hell...but I swore I wasn't lying to her. When I say I was laughing really hard, I mean I was bent over with my head lying on the table, and had those great big belly shaking laughs coursing through me. It was so hard I couldn't even attempt to talk, and tears were streaming out of my eyes. (I LOVE laughing that hard by the way.)

So yeah we're doing great over here. She's going back to her mom's on Monday I think. But she's already made up her mind that's she's going to be spending half of each month out here with me. I'm beyond thrilled.
Realized that I'm trans 5/20/19   Got letter for HRT 6/10/19  Came out to my mom 6/18/19
Started HRT 7/12/19

Online OzGirl

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #12 on: Today at 03:46:42 AM »
So good to hear things are going well for you Lexxi, and being busy is the best way to get through isolation! My new medications seem to be working a bit, but I still haven't cleared my dysphoria. As I am on stress leave from work, I can concentrate on my HRT, and I'm making sure I give myself time to dress nicely including makeup and polished nails. Mary shakes her head as she is taking the opportunity to dress down, but she knows I am struggling with dysphoria, and looking nice helps. I did go for a bicycle ride this morning, and walked our dog this afternoon, the first time I've left our property since going to the doctors last Thursday. I will try to get more regular exercise in as when I get bored, I bake, and then we both eat it and put on weight!

Hugs,

Allie
Knew I was a girl in 1958, told my mother. Dressed regularly at home from 2000, started HRT March 2019, FHR Oct 19 Full time Jan 2020, new BC Feb, new p’port March 2020, GRS scheduled for some time in 2021

Offline Linde

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #13 on: Today at 12:11:36 PM »
I'm making sure I give myself time to dress nicely including makeup and polished nails. Mary shakes her head as she is taking the opportunity to dress down, but she knows I am struggling with dysphoria, and looking nice helps.
Hugs,

Allie

Hi Allie, I hope that the medication will help, it takes some time to undo what all those months with bad amounts did do to you!  And i hope you can come to a point of your transition, that you feel like your wife feels, and you also can dress down.

I sit most all day now dressed with just a t-shirt and shorts (Amber is dressed the same).  I don't wear a bra, and the only facial treatment I do is putting moisturizer on .  We are simply relaxed and comfortable, and both of us know very well that we are females, and feel comfortable as such.


Hugs
Linde
If life deals you lemons, make the best out of them, make lemonade, or put them into your bra to make it look like you have big boobs!

Email contact through linde@transrefuge.org

Online OzGirl

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Re: Keeping on top of Dysphoria during lockdown.
« Reply #14 on: Today at 01:25:24 PM »
Hi Allie, I hope that the medication will help, it takes some time to undo what all those months with bad amounts did do to you!  And i hope you can come to a point of your transition, that you feel like your wife feels, and you also can dress down.

I sit most all day now dressed with just a t-shirt and shorts (Amber is dressed the same).  I don't wear a bra, and the only facial treatment I do is putting moisturizer on .  We are simply relaxed and comfortable, and both of us know very well that we are females, and feel comfortable as such.


Hugs
Linde

Linde,
          Almost all of my wardrobe is casual and in this time of lockdown nobody sees how I’m dressed. I have been full time at home for 20 years so I am comfortable dressing down, but while my dysphoria is significant, I know dressing nicely once a week can reduce dysphoria. I’m sure if I lived in a tropical area, shorts and tees would be the norm, but in our cooler temperate climate, it’s mostly jeans and track pants and knit tops. Hopefully my dose increase this week will fix the dysphoria thing, and I can go back to normal, well, as much normal as i can in a lockdown.

Hugs,

Allie
Knew I was a girl in 1958, told my mother. Dressed regularly at home from 2000, started HRT March 2019, FHR Oct 19 Full time Jan 2020, new BC Feb, new p’port March 2020, GRS scheduled for some time in 2021